The Bank of Mom and Dad
For Parents Helping Adult Kids With Money · Free PDF Guide
Helping your kids is one of the good parts of having money. The problem starts when nobody wrote down what the help was. Undocumented money becomes an inheritance fight, and by the time it does, the one person who could have settled it is gone.
A quick, plain-English read. No legalese, and nothing to buy.
From Ridley Law · Eric Ridley · Estate planning, trust administration, and probate
Helping your kids with a down payment? The checkup shows you how to structure it so nobody loses.
What’s inside the guide
- The three ways money moves between parents and adult children: a gift, a loan, or an advance against a future inheritance, and why the label you pick matters
- Why that label matters more after you are gone than it does while you are still around to explain it
- How help that was never written down turns into a fight between siblings over what was fair
- What a written record needs to say to actually settle the question later, instead of just documenting that money changed hands
- Why you are the only person who can end this dispute before it starts, and why that window closes the day you are no longer here to answer questions
Is money I give my adult child a gift or a loan?
That depends on what you intended and whether the intention is written down anywhere. A gift carries no expectation of repayment. A loan does, even between family, and what tells the two apart later is whether there was ever a note, a repayment schedule, or interest, not what anyone remembers saying at the time. Money that changes hands with nothing on paper defaults to being treated as a gift, whether that is what you meant or not.
Do I have to pay gift tax if I help my adult child financially?
In 2026 you can give up to $19,000 to any one person without filing anything, or $38,000 if you are married and both agree to split the gift. Give more than that to one child in a year and you file IRS Form 709, but you still will not owe tax unless your lifetime gifts and your estate together exceed the federal exemption of $15,000,000 per person. For most families, filing the form is a paperwork step, not a tax bill.
Does paying my child’s tuition or medical bills count as a gift?
Not if you pay the school or the provider directly. Payments made straight to a tuition or medical provider on someone else’s behalf are unlimited and do not count against your annual gift exclusion at all. The moment you hand the money to your child instead and they pay the bill, it becomes an ordinary gift subject to the regular limits.
If the same question comes up in how you want to leave money after you are gone, not just help you give now, start with estate planning.
Want a straight read on where you stand?
Talk to Eric. A free 30-minute call, no pitch. He’ll tell you where you’re exposed, what it would cost to fix, and what you can skip.
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